Last night I was talking to one of my close and completely platonic guy-friends Jayme (as in so platonic that in the 7-8 years we have known each other not even a kiss). We always have very in depth conversations about life, our past and current relationships, views on enlightenment, and even go to each other for guy/girl advice. Such a rare gem to gain access to the inner track of the opposite sex! Our conversations easily last 3-4 hours… If not more so. After much deliberation since he is an experienced blogger I decided to let him read my little budding site here. Somewhat intimidating to me since I am bearing a lot of my innermost thoughts and experiences and have yet to post any links publicly. What I have written so far is a tiny drop in an overflowing bucket of stories that are incredible, emotional, powerful, but also about earth shattering times in my life where I thought I was going to die (and even wanted to at one point after my last traumatic experience- NOT that I had suicidal intentions or plans by any means but in the tragic afterwake I felt a tinge of maybe I should have been killed so I wouldn’t have to live with this pain).
That being said you can see my apprehension- some of these posts are extremely personal and I am unsure about the friends I am not that close with and the casual acquaintances I am “friends” with reading this since there can be a Lot of judgement out there (Especially about some of the topics I plan to discuss). Like an onion with many layers some know the innermost core with all the outsides torn and exposed; whereas others know only the top layer that can be easily peeled off.
What I found amusing was our similar yet very different styles of writing. He makes drafts and perfects them and I just start writing and take off like a launched rocket with no planned course. Of course I will go back and make sure I haven’t overused the words but/and/or too often But otherwise my posts truly are the first thoughts which turn out to be my best thoughts. Once I start the process of writing (or clicking in this case) my mind opens up and I emotionally spew the contents all out subsequently. Thankfully there is an edit feature on this site however there is none to be found in life (perchance to dream) and often this has bitten me quite hard since I comfortably open up and flow with no trepidation whereas many do not.
This begs the question: Should I re-learn how to communicate so as to preserve and protect my heart better- Or continue to unabashedly expose myself in complete vulnerability…? We as a society are so guarded…These walls are higher than the Berlin wall and unfortunately there are no sort of protests and parties rallying against it. People burrowed tunnels underneath this wall to escape the oppression sometimes succeeding and breaking through; yet other people’s efforts failed and they remained prisoner to the opposition. My contemplative thoughts now circle around the theme of dismantling the boundaries that are in place nowadays unseen to most. Barriers are put up socially and emotionally everywhere. Discrimination is rampant. Thoughtfulness is replaced with thoughtlessness. Kindness is viewed to be a weakness- otherwise the phrase ” nice guys finish last ” wouldn’t exist.
What will it take for the tides to turn? After every natural disaster, act of terrorism, or local shattering earthquake like a school shooting people come together in love, volunteer and donate, shed tears, and share love…. Why can’t this be the way humanity is all the time….?
If only John Lennon or Dr. Martin Luther King were still alive. The tidal wave of enlightenment they started was immeasurable to our culture and the way they dreamed it to be. Imagining everyone living in peace and harmony sounds like a pipe dream to most. It takes a very strong person to stand up and give their heart and soul to effect change- Why is it that these people end up being assassinated? How very prophetic that Lennon was quoted to say “Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we’re being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I’m liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.” People who are daring enough to express these thoughts of change were silenced since the thought of living with diversity and acceptance is unnerving to those who cling to their beliefs in ignorance. “Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Knowledge is power and ignorance is tantamount to incompetence. I say we never stop expanding our awareness by learning not just how the world Is but how it Could be.
ariellemegan 